Gone

We’ve faded like the pictures,
I’ve left hanging on the walls.
Ripped down and torn up
everything that I’ve held strong.
Running away now,
you’re fading way to fast.

Angry and upset,
I don’t know what to do.
I feel like you’ve betrayed me,
there’s nothing more of me and you.
Chance after chance,
time after time,
it’s all gone wrong.

Everything’s been inside,
for 14 years.
Never did you ask "Why?",
Never did you see my tears.
Im sorry please don’t be mad,
I don’t know another way.

Goodbye and good luck.
Maybe someday
we can put our pictures up.
After our time apart.

Depression In A Nutshell

I need to vent,
let off a little steam.
There is on one here,
to hear my screams.

There’s no shoulder to cry on,
No Kleenex for tears.
No kind words,
just me and my fears.

My life is a myth,
unexamined, unknown.
Secrets in the depth,
of the grave that I own.

Don’t you wonder,
about me and my past?
Don’t you wonder,
why things never last?

I seem strong,
a hollow shell.
That is all.
Hell.

Why weren’t you ever there?
Why didn’t you ever care?
A few questions,
that would have done.

Make me feel better,
make me feel whole.
Don’t just say,
"I don’t know."

Help Me Through

Lives are crumbling,
you don’t seem to notice.
Bruises are hidden,
deep under the skin.
Fixing you is hard to do,
when I am broken too.

Voices break,
you can’t hear them.
Duct tape and kind words,
aren’t enough anymore.
It’s all been suppressed,
for way too long.

Do you notice me here,
alone in the dark?
Please don’t trip over me.
You were once my light.
My world has grown dim,
I can’t replace sight.

Apathy And Exhaustion

Sandman pulls relentlessly,
on my eye lids.
Breaths turn into yawns,
my body is exhausted.
The clock ticks on,
lost in it’s own daze.
Lost into today,
lost in tomorrow.
The days all blend.
Sheep continue,
to trip over the fence.
We’ve both grown weary.
Tossing.
Turning.
The birds are chirping.
Sunrise seeps into my eyes,
as the bells start screaming.
Apathy begins the day,
exhaustion finishes it.

Rumors Prevail

The car pulls up
and he slips away.
Left sitting here alone,
nothing but the stereo.
The cold air rushes in
wraps itself around me.
Searching for happiness,
all that’s left is jealousy.
Teeth cringe.
Thoughts running wild.
Everything is gone,
my hopes, my dreams.
It’s amazing the effect you had on me.
Nothing is as it seems to be.
With my head in the toilet,
I hear the shit that’s floating
around the bowl of Lake Michigan.
With you and me,
it’s flushed away.

Modern American Dream

Departure.
The boat rocks from side to side.
Unsteady seas lead the path,
to terrible uncertainty.
Freedom for one,
but not for all.

Land of the American Dream.
Shattered like glass,
in a brown paper bag.
Marriage means nothing.
A head filled with empty lies.

A cross cuntry tour
and your tank ran dry.
So did my liver.
This barfly will be buzzing around,
until I get swatted down.
Life with no shame,
is a life with no name.

3 accidents ask me why,
I had to murder our memories.
No reply.
I’ll take it to my grave,
when I decide to die.
Take me to my homeland.
This American Dream
has proven too much for me.

Where's Waldo

Where is god when I need him?
Is he hiding in my I-Spy books?
Maybe he’s under my bed,
or out in the corn field.
I’m close to finding you,
but then you disappear.
This game hurts my head.
Come out, Come out,
where ever you are.
I’m calling it quits.
You hid too well.
Where was your hiding spot?
Now our little games are done,
our little lives are gone.
It’s time to face the heat.

Devastation

You were my first love,
but you will never know.
I can keep secrets too.
You were my accident.
I let my guard down to take a peek,
at some thing new,
something I thought was true.

You jumped behind enemy lines,
we slept in a bed full of our lies.
We couldn’t face the truth.
That there was nothing but pieces,
pieces of ourselves left on the floor.

We went our ways craving
those who fill our voids.
Craving each others taste,
smell,
touch,
warmth.
Soon to come and soon to fade,
with those fatal words of yours,
"I don’t think it’s gonna work."

Prime Time Rhyme

Nicole likes to rhyme,
so I think I can this time.
I’m a shitty poet,
and I know it.
It’s something to do,
when your friends don’t pull through.
A way to vent,
about everything you meant.
Fights always brew,
and things get hot like a stew.
It’s something I hate,
but life is just bait.
For everything you planned,
and where you might land.
This rap is crap,
but could you clap?

A Daughters Loss

She is walking
through what once was her home town.
She begins to cry,
as a man grabs her by the hand,
and drags her down the dusty street.
All she can hear is her mothers piercing cries.
Terrible pain and agony
lost in the mass chaos of war.
She was nowhere to be found.

Walking down the same road today,
she begins to cry.
This time there is no one
to pull her away from danger.
Everything is left to be rubble.
The sound of bombs and screaming children,
flood her mind.
Bringing her back
to those gut wrenching memories.
The horror of everything bad,
being witnessed by the most innocent eyes.

The man that had saved my life,
now lyes in a peaceful grave.
The soldiers cried victory.
All that we were seeking we had won.
We have everything that we wanted.
But all I ever wanted,
was for my mother to get a proper burial.

Relfection

I get up in the morning and look outside.
I see the park, some kids playing,
people walking their dogs.
I also see a woman in the glass.
I do not recognize her.
She is tall, thin, beautiful,
not everyone sees her this way.

Storm Of Ice

Hell is pounding on our front door,
louder and louder than ever before.
Sending the light into hiding.
Our candles are lit but the chills,
the ice,
has seeped below our doors
taking the warmth that we held,
sending us into this cold hell.
Hell is pounding on our back door,
louder and louder than ever before.
The terror slowly seeps into me,
as everything falls down around me.
So this is what hell looks like,
when everything has frozen over.

Unforgettable War

My words are lost in battle.
The ones that find their way
are shot down like a plane.
Silence kills me.

My eyelids are fighting an ocean,
I hum the words on the radio.
Drown out all the anger,
try to be somewhere else.
Drown out all your thoughts
but I cant drown out the emotion.
Is it me or is it getting hot?

I can see you in my window.
You're with me fighting the ocean.
All its weight was to great,
you were pummeled to the ground.
Swept up by the waves.
There’s a leak in my system.
Can I stand the pressure?
Can I hold strong,
against this great wall?

Standing against the missiles.
The firing will never cease to exist.
This is an unforgettable war,
between a mother and a daughter,
that will never exist.

Goodbye Grandma

Goodbye Grandma,
I have lost you recently,
now the tears pour from me.
I will always miss you,
and I will never forget you.
I will miss all the stories
and all the laughs with them.
I will keep my 15 birthday cards
that you have sent to me.
I will read the letters inside,
on the dear anniversary,
of the day you passed.
I will never let you down,
my values will stay true.
Someday I will be buried
right along side you.
I love you Grandma,
I will always miss you,
and I will never forget you.
R.I.P.